The Grey Place

Written By: Cody Smith

The eternal grey is a place that no one ever wants to be. It is something I wouldn’t even wish upon my own worst enemy. We often don’t get to decide when we visit the grey place however. Devoid of light, and all the things that make life worth living, the grey place saps the colour from the world and leaves one feeling hopeless. It dulls the edges of everything and drains the life from your soul. It is not just devoid of light, oh no, it also lacks the darkness.

Many people fear the darkness. The grey place is worse.

There is knowledge in the darkness if one is willing to use their light to seek it out. There is wisdom to be had from being the lone star in a night sky.

When your light goes out entirely, what happens then?

You grit your teeth and you sit with the darkness that envelopes you like a lovers embrace. You have been here before, it is familiar.  You face the demons that live in the darkness with courage, striking them down one by one. As each one falls you grow stronger. You leave everything on the battlefield of the damned, determined not to succumb to the onslaught of insecurities.

The voices whisper in your ear, “You’re nothing, you’re worthless, why do you even try?”

You’re inclined to believe them. But for some reason you fight on, even though it would be so easy to stop the fight and let the darkness in. Nothing worth doing is easy, so you fight on. You fight with every last drop of your being. The demons keep coming and you battle on, until even the tiniest imp appears as the mightiest dragon. You muster everything you have into one final blow. A primal scream echoes noiselessly from somewhere deep within as you strike forth in your reckless attempt to slay the dragon. Your blade has been sharpened by a lifetime of struggle and it strikes out at the beast that stands before you.

The blow strikes true, the dragon disintegrates.  Yet, the darkness still remains.

You lay back, drained of everything, ready to make this blackness your home. All of a sudden, from somewhere deep within, the light returns. It starts out as a flicker at first, perhaps nothing more than a twinkle in the eye. It rapidly grows brighter and brighter, consuming the dark like fuel until it is a raging inferno that banishes the darkness from existence.

The glaring light overwhelms you and you can’t help but smile as you are filled with its divinity. Everything in the world is good again, the light has returned. You smile, you laugh, you exalt in exuberance as you are overwhelmed by the beauty that floods your vision and fills your soul. You recharge in the light and are reminded of why you fight. Your wounds heal quickly but the scars will forever remain- a constant reminder. They join the mosaic like all the others, testaments to battles fought and won, a reminder that no matter how dark it gets there is always hope. Like Pandora’s Box, hope will always remain.

The grey place however is hopeless. Devoid of everything both good and bad- It is nothing. There is no joy, there is no fear, there is only an infinite expanse of nothingness, a grey world that goes on forever. There is no battle, there is only surrender. A waking nightmare from which you must escape- you have to escape.

The grey place is a fine varnish that coats all things and leaves you staring into the void as it threatens to blink. It’s not the darkness that we should fear. You can’t have light without the dark. As long as you have hope to guide you, you will find your way.

No one can live in the grey place for very long. There is no hope.